🤔 What I’ve been thinking about
I sometimes have quite unusual ideas for tattoos, even though I don’t have any as of now (one such idea was writing “my life is a joke” with some ugly clown on my leg. Luckily I didn’t do it).
I know tattoos are super mainstream, everybody has them nowadays, especially those dark random objects like anchors, triangles or infinity signs on arms and legs with big gaps in between them, like PewdiePie and most Berlin hipsters have.
I’d prefer to never get a tattoo because I’m generally a contrarian who dislikes trendy stuff, but here’s why I still might get one: As a mnemonic aid to remember what matters.
Two weeks ago, I wrote about how I forget who I am, how I lose track of my identity and goals regularly, because it seems like my brain is too scattered and abstract-thinking to stick to one thing.
My hope is that a permanent tattoo could help me snap myself out of my confused and negative thought loops when I look at it. It would have to be on a prominent place I can easily see, like my wrist. Or on my fingers, maybe one letter on each finger, but that would probably make me look like a felon, so yeah.
But what would the tattoo be? A dumb owl or a feather? No.
Here’s my idea: Get a tattoo that says “I won”.
I don’t need crazy artwork with it or some hip font.
It sounds a bit ridiculous, now that I’m thinking about it, like something a self-obsessed rapper or soccer player would put on his chest. I’m not even sure if I love the words “I won”, because they imply that I’m competitive (which I’m not really) and that someone else is losing, which is not my intention. Maybe a small animal or some other object can help me remember these things, too.
In any case, the only purpose of this tattoo would be to bring my attention to this:
I won because I saw the good, the beauty and the love in this moment, and in everything.
I got this aha moment not too long ago, taking a walk with my girlfriend. I was annoyed, resentful and angry for some dumb reason, I don’t even remember why.
Instead of believing this toxic thought and lashing out in some passive agressive way, I took a step back and asked myself: Why? Why are you grumpy right now?
Then I did something that I wouldn’t usually do: I suddenly stopped walking and hugged my girlfriend, a real long hug, and said: “Thank you”. She was surprised, but smiled. My grumpiness and anger were pretty much gone right at that moment. I broke the spell. I won!
I realized something: I have a choice. I get to decide, in every moment:
Do I resist, or do I lovingly accept? Do I see the negative in this moment, do I create a story in my head about what should be different, how my partner should change and how I’m a victim? Or do I accept the cards I’ve been dealt and see the beauty in whatever is, in this moment?
I won if I see how loving, creative and peaceful humans can be, instead of only acknowledging the evil and toxic people.
I won if I enjoy and see the beauty in a movie, a hike or conversation, instead of cynically dismantling how everything sucks.
In a way, “I won” is a reminder to break my own patterns of cynicism – and when I catch myself, I’ll tell myself: I won! THIS is what living a good life is about! I don’t need anything else to be happy, no fame or wealth, as long as I internalize that I can snap out of my thoughts and choose peace and love and acceptance in every moment. Accepting that my unhappiness almost exclusively comes from within me – maybe I didn’t get enough sleep, ate shitty food, or probably it’s just my genes – and isn’t caused by my partner or my job or my life circumstances, is a game changer. Because it means that I also have the power to stop those toxic thought loops.
So, “I won” would be a reminder to see the good in this life, an antidote to cynicism and nihilism, which I am susceptible to (maybe you aren’t and all of this comes naturally to you – then I envy you!)
Second, “I won” would be a reminder to stay grateful: I won the lottery by being born. And I was born to not so bad parents in Europe, in a very peaceful and prosperous time. I don’t have to be or achieve anything, because this gift of life was given to me (and I’m not going to give in to the nihilistic voices proclaiming that this life is just a curse to be suffered through). Being given this gift means I won already!
Third, it’s a reminder to just keep going and stick to my mission in life. As long as I do this, I’ll be good, I’ll be winning.
What do you think? Is this a good idea or will I regret it? (I can see myself coming up with new “life lessons” all the time and ending up with 10 two word axioms on my hand – it will look ridiculous).
😴 What might help you find calm
Intentional ASMR Picks:
- Wow, this was good: 3 hours of gentle facial treatments by Serein Wu, a channel I didn’t know before
- This long mixed triggers assortment by ASMR Bakery is excellent (I really liked the wooden carrott toy)
- RaffyTaphy making ASMR with his roommate Joe was better than expected, they harmonize well (and there’s a previous video like this)
- As a Dark Souls fan, I had to watch Relax by the Bonfire by Ephemeral Rift – I love the chainmail and he has the perfect “medieval knight” face, don’t you think so?
- I like Jojo’s card trick videos, he’s really talented at this, and he made a new one with nice shuffling sounds
- Here’s a fast-paced collection of 50 triggers by Pierre G, with some really creative ones!
Unintentional ASMR Picks:
- There’s Yanghaiying, a classic of Unintentional ASMR,explaining and practicing Chinese calligraphy – I just love her channel & accent!
- Or how about some David Bull? I really enjoyed this video, especially the artwork and seeing his woodblock printing process
- There’s a whole channel dedicated to Minesweeper Strategy (it’s pretty niche, I’ll admit it:) but I found it relaxing!
- An old MTV interview with Alanis Morisette – quite interesting, and her voice is great!
- And finally, a nice outdoor massage (it’s mostly unintentional I’d say) on the channel Tao Chi Ka (that’s where the image above is from)