Don’t get Stuck!

I’m not super familiar with Rob Lowe, I know he’s quite the movie star and I liked his role in Parks and Recreation (a comment said “he just played himself” there, another one claims Rob is “the golden retriever of humans”).

Listening to his not-so-recent talk with Joe Rogan he seems to be an interesting, positive guy, and I liked his story on how he embarassed himself at the Academy Awards with a ridiculous musical performance.

Here’s something that Rob said casually, it seems to be his mantra of sorts and it stuck with me:
Don’t get stuck. Keep moving.

What a trivial thing to say – but no, upon reflection, NO, it isn’t just an empty slogan, it’s very valuable advice actually. Not only for your professional life, but for life in general.

I too got stuck when I quit my job and didn’t really know what to do with my life.

I moved in with my parents for a bit. I felt lost, it dawned on me that my plans and ideas wouldn’t work out. Sure, there was comfort, the familiarity of my childhood home, there was food, video games and Netflix. But it didn’t feel good, I couldn’t really enjoy myself. I was scared of ending up as a failure with nothing to show for. I kept retracting in my shell, I didn’t talk to friends, I didn’t apply for jobs. It was an unpleasant state of procrastination, self-dillusion and self-loathing (plus my parents who made me feel like everything is wrong with me).

Luckily I managed to leave this “nest” pretty quickly. I unstuck myself, so to say. But it wasn’t easy. There was a realistic chance of me staying stuck there, too, and it’s scary.

You’re probably going to feel stuck at some point in your life, too. Maybe it’s when getting laid off, maybe you’re depressed after a relationship ended. You’re especially at risk if you’re an analytical, anxious person who likes to always have a plan, and if you leave the trodden path to do your own thing but everything is harder than expected.

And there’s a real danger: you might stay stuck. Maybe forever. You probably know at least one person who got stuck and never really got back on their feet, it’s like they drowned in quicksand. Maybe they quit college, maybe they got sick or it was a divorce. Unfortunately, some don’t make it out: they pretty much give up, sometimes it’s alcohol or other drugs to cope with the regret and shame, sometimes it’s even suicide.

Why do these people give up? At its root, it’s because they lose hope, I think. When you don’t believe a better future is possible, you’re pretty much depressed. And in some moments in our lives, it really doesn’t look like things can get better, because they objectively don’t – we can only see how they can get worse. I know this shouldn’t matter, but you’ll see everybody else moving ahead in life, starting a family, building their careers, buying a house .. And you’ll feel even worse.

These are pivotal moments in our lives (it might be months or years is this transient state, in fact) where we must find keep moving, somewhere, somehow. Maybe you have someone to help you with that. But maybe you don’t.  Even if you don’t really have hope anymore: Keep moving. We get stuck because we get stuck in our heads. Moving means we get out and do something (and yes, going outside and physically moving your body is the right thing to do when you feel stuck).

Don’t overthink the direction – it’s only going to paralyze you. It doesn’t matter if you move in the “wrong” direction. It’s okay if you “waste” some years, if you start projects that go nowhere. You’re not too old. You can reinvent yourself. Don’t think you should have achieved more at your age. Everybody has their own pace. Life isn’t a race.

Life is movement, life is change. There’s a time for standing still, for chilling and just enjoying yourself. But don’t get stuck forever – keep moving!

😴 What might help you find calm

Intentional ASMR Picks:

  • No doubt one of the best roleplays I’ve ever seen: Made in France’s  Tingle Tailor: I loved the measuring, the props, the sewing machine, everything. It shows that he has studied filmmaking (he told me)
  • A great channel you might not have on your radar: Jazzy ASMR. Here’s a great barbershop roleplay, or a recent HR interview roleplay with lots of typing
  • Also, I enjoyed TingTing’s lice check and ASMR Glow’s Beautician roleplay

💎 Hidden Gem:
LLOYD’S ASMR is a gem, for sure. I was impressed by this respiratory exam / medical roleplay. The voice, the accent and the props, it’s all on point

Unintentional ASMR Picks: