Why am I Growing so Slowly?

I found this strange picture on my computer (you can see it here if it doesn’t load in this email). I had saved it a while ago. I rarely save pictures, so I wondered why this one spoke to me.

It says: They told me I have such potential
So why am I growing so slowly?

I guess the message is that you might be disappointed in what you have to “show for” in your life, be it in terms of career, relationships or other accomplishments, but you can’t see all the roots that have grown under the earth as a result of your hard work.

The assumption is that these roots will one day come to fruition, I assume, and produce a beautiful tree of whatever you’ve been hoping for. This was posted on the “wholesomememes” subreddit so it’s supposed to be uplifting.
But I’ll be honest; It didn’t feel all that uplifting to me when I saw it.

The “they told me I have such potential” part doesn’t resonate much with me. It’s not really part of my culture to tell kids how talented they are and that they’re meant to do great things, at least I don’t remember hearing such encouraging words. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

However, the “why am I growing so slowly?” part is definitely something I’m thinking about quite a bit as I get older. Why does everything take so long? What about my plans and dreams, will any of them succeed or will I just procrastinate on them until I die? It’s a bit depressing seeing guys being amazingly good and successful at what they do, and then finding out they’re 10 years younger than me (I know it’s stupid to compare myself like this).

I guess the lesson here is to be patient. Life is not a race. Everybody has their own pace. It’s nonesense to think one should have it all figured out by 25, and be a millionaire or an accomplished creative genius with a bestseller book and a platinum album by 30.

I think we all need to accept that life is incredibly short. If we’re really lucky and gifted, we’ll accomplish one or two extraordinary things, like writing a semi-good book or starting a semi-successful company. But it’s much more likely that we won’t do anything spectacular. And even if we did, it will be forgotten in one or two generations.

But why is that bad? Finding a job and having a few interesting hobbies can be a great life. Or not having a job and travelling around, and dying at 35 – that could be awesome as well. Starting a family and providing for them – that’s a great accomplishment, too, I think.

Upon reflection, the real reason this picture resonated with me so deeply is that weird bird-man sitting on the floor. What is that creature? It almost magnetically attracted my attention. Maybe I’m just projecting, but I see so much melancholy in its eyes, it almost made me tear up. For a second, I saw myself in this creature, extending my hand to this disappointing, fragile plant – my life? I’m crouching, protecting myself from an overwhelming world, lonely, ugly and misunderstood.

😴 What might help you find calm

Intentional ASMR Picks:

  • Latte’s Dentist checkup and cleaning roleplay is well executed, as expected (even though it’s one of my least favorite settings to be honest)
  • Zeitgeists orb-themed video is long and beautiful. Is this ASMR perfection? The production quality is on another level (and where does he get all those squishy props from?)
  • I think Manga’s are cool and I appreciate that Ephemeral Rift collects them. Here’s his recent “Manga Man” upload where he presents parts of his collection, from Sailor Moon to Jojo’s
  • I found another cool Turkish massage channel: ASMR çambeyli massage
  • (it’s an actual hair salon). Here’s a great massage session – I would love to be that client. Sometimes it’s men doing the massaging, sometimes it’s a woman, but I always enjoy the pretty aggressive massaging and personal attention
  • For German-speakers: I loved annawhispersDM (drugstore) employee roleplay, her whispered voice and product sounds are great
  • For French-speakers: I guess I’m biased but I love Moonlight Cottage. 
  • Her recent bedtime story (she’s reading Rumpelstiltskin) was great for falling asleep

Unintentional ASMR Picks:

  • I enjoyed the soft spoken Australian accent of Entomologist Noel Starick showing how to display insects on the Queensland Museum channel
  • Or how about the Scottish (?) accent of Davie McPhail who talks about fly fishing and tying the bait yourself
  • I had this in my collection for a while but rediscovered it recently: This excellent wet shave by an old school, elegant Barber on the channel Haircut Harry
  • Here’s my recent compilation of elegant Male Casino dealers (of my Blackjack and Poker sessions – there’s a lot of mumbling, card shuffling and fake British accents:)