How easy is it to change what’s going on in your head? A lot of it is out of your control, I’d argue
I saw this post on the subreddit r/getmotivated:
(it says “You spend most of your life inside your head. Make it a nice place to be”).
First off – don’t we technically spend all of our lives in our heads?
That aside, I’m not sure if I’m a fan of these overly simplistic one-liners.
“I wish it was this easy” is what some people replied, rightfully so.
After years of reading and thinking about this topic, I’m pretty much convinced that whether or not your head is a “nice place to be” is, for the most part, out of your control, because it’s mainly determined by 3 things (which are out of your control):
- Your genes (i.e. the amount of happy chemicals that are in your brain by default)
- Your upbringing (i.e. how much your family and people around you screwed you up as a kid)
- Trauma (i.e. whether you randomly got f*ed by life or not)
You can meditate and read motivational quotes like the one above all you want, but those 3 variables are what matters most, sorry.
This doesn’t mean you can’t start to change and build yourself up with healthy habits, little by little (I very much encourage you to do that and seek help if you need it).
But I’d also tell you to NOT beat yourself up if you’re not happy right now, because it’s not your fault.
So, if I can leave you with another one-liner that I prefer, it would be “be kind to yourself”. And I’d maybe add “even if you don’t believe so right now, keep going because things CAN get better.”