Stop thinking your life is over because of your past – you have so many options and life paths ahead of you!
It’s not uncommon to have some sort of quarter-life or midlife crisis when you do the math and notice you only half 2/3 of your life left (if you’re lucky, that is).
A big mistake (one I sometimes make as well) is to be fatalistic about the rest of your life based on your previous life path.
I found this little illustration somewhere online, and it captures what I’m getting at quite well.
Believing that your past determines your future is a mistake.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Otherwise, you’ll stick to a life path that you know will make you unhappy, just because you think it’s safe and “the right thing to do” (in economics this is called sunk cost fallacy – thinking you must work in a certain field because you went to school for it, or staying with a partner you don’t love anymore).
To let go of your past, you have to stop regretting.
It’s toxic to regret your past, be it choices or things that happened.
Be it past relationships that hurt you, missteps in your career, accidents – you gotta come to peace with what happened.
Your life is not like a video game where you can go back to a previous save game and start again (I know, we perfectionists would love that feature to exist).
If you can’t come to peace with your previous life path, you will get stuck in your past, and it will prevent you from proactively choosing your future life path.
Here’s what helped me let go of my past: The conviction that I couldn’t have acted differently in that situation.
I always did my best (even though that’s a hard pill to swallow, I believe it to be true.
In any case: Open your eyes to all the opportunities that lie ahead of you!
I’m not saying you have to move to the other end of the world and start a new life – if you’re happy with the path you’re on, go ahead, continue, you’re doing great!
But if you feel like you’ve “ruined your life” by some mistakes in your past … I invite you to challenge this belief. It’s wrong! Your life isn’t over!
This might sound like some superficial self-help advice, but I think it’s quite powerful.
I don’t believe in reincarnation or an afterlife, so I’m looking forward to making more (good and bad) experiences, falling flat on my face, standing up, trying again, putting myself out there and enjoying whatever life throws my way. I sure as hell don’t want to sit in my room in agony, thinking about “what if” and “if only”.
Choose your new life path, choose yourself (and maybe in 10 years it’s going to be something completely different) – it’s not too late!
|By the way: If you want to hear more (personal) thoughts on this topic, you can check out my Patreon-only ASMR Bedtime Show.|