We’re Only Human

As you might know, I’m in Europe where many countries are factually locked down. I had planned to go to Switzerland to see my girlfriend, which now I’m not allowed to do.

At the same time, it’s easier for me as an introvert, because I don’t really mind living like a hermit. In any case, I hope you and your loved ones will get through this reasonably well.

🤔 What I’ve been thinking of

Previously, I wrote about how self help and mindfulness cannot shield us from the unavoidable randomness and suffering of life.

This was reinforced by some articles I read about the limited effects of gratitude interventions on anxiety and depression, and the dangers of promoting productivity culture (this one’s an more of an opinion).

Today I discovered a great article in Medium by Brianna West which puts it into better words than I ever could. Here are some of my favorite paragraphs:

“You cannot heal your way to a world where darkness doesn’t exist. It always will.
You cannot heal your way into the most physically perfect version of yourself. That’s not who you were born and built to be.
You cannot heal your way out of every worry, issue, struggle, grief, sadness, or down day.That’s not the point of being alive.
The point of healing is not to return to a place where everything is perfect. Instead, it is to begin to develop the ability to respond to what’s imperfect.
You cannot heal your way out of being human, and you were never supposed to.”

And:
“We believe we can cure ourselves of negative emotions because, to a degree, it’s true. And we know it’s true because we’ve seen it in practice.But we are not meant to spend our lives discovering broken facets of ourselves that simply need correcting. Sad, disappointing, or nerve-wracking events are not always blocks or barriers.

Sometimes, what we perceive as imperfection is part of the human experience. And that’s exactly what it’s meant to be. (…)
We are not meant to heal our way out of being human.
We are meant to allow being human to heal us.”

I especially found the part about not needing to spend your life discovering broken facets of ourselves interesting. This is contrary to today’s widespread notion that we should all see therapists and work through our past trauma to find out which variety of mental illnesses we have. Then I remembered something my aunt, slightly drunk, recently said on the dinner table: “Psychology is bullsh*t – why do we always have to uncover every little problem in our lives and analyse it? That’s extremely self-centered and mostly pointless.” Just a disclaimer: I don’t really agree, and I think it’s a good thing that we live in a time where mental illness and trauma get discussed more openly, and people who need help should seek it.

But there’s something to be said about how this idea of “I need to heal myself because I’m not always feeling great” might be somewhat naive (most of us don’t feel that great most of the time) and might lead to more egocentric thought loops and hinder us from actually living our (imperfect) live´s.

😴 What helped me find calm this week

Unintentional ASMR Picks:

Here’s some Unintentional ASMR that I think you’d enjoy:

Here’s a German Unintentional ASMR video which you can find on the channel FindeRuhe:

Intentional ASMR Picks:

By the way, here’s two older haircut roleplays (two of my favorites) that you might not know yet:

I’ve added these videos to my “ASMR Favorites” Playlist“, again.

💜 What I enjoyed this week

Now’s the perfect time for Netflix, gaming, reading and chilling. Here are some ideas:

  • Castlevania Season 3 is out on Netflix, and I’m loving it so far (I’m at episode 4). It’s an awesome mature, dark story, with well-written characters and nicely animated. The voice actors are excellent, too, I’m considering making it into an Unintentional ASMR compilation because there’s really relaxing moments, too:)
  • I’ve been watching the new Altered Carbon season. I have to admit I preferred the old main actor, but it’s still good and action-packed – I just like the CyberPunk dystopia setting!
  • I’ve been playing a bit of Yakuza 2 and Ori the Blind Forest (both are quite relaxing!) But I can’t wait to play Nioh 2, which I’ve already ordered