Toxic Thought Patterns

You might know I’m not a huge fan of these listicle self help articles, but this one by Brianna Wiest was pretty good and thought-provoking, so I wanted to share her “7 Thought Patterns That Are Keeping You Stuck In A Life You Don’t Want” (and what I thought about them).  

(Just as a reminder: These are beliefs you should NOT subscribe to, ideally, if you want to be happy):

1. “Only so much good can come from my life before it’s balanced out by the bad.” This doesn’t really apply to me, to be honest. My bigger problem is that I don’t really notice if something goes well in my life, I doesn’t really register

2. “I can only earn a life I love by doing things I hate.”
That’s a good point, sure. Nonetheless, I think that statement is pretty accurate for around 90% of people who have a normal job (after all, someone hires you to do something they don’t want to do themselves – usually it’s not the most fun and creative and fulfilling stuff). But yeah, if you find a career path that isn’t something you hate, that’s awesome, go for it!

3. “I am responsible for any problem in my proximity.” That’s something I can relate to; “Just because you can empathize with someone’s pain does not mean their burden is yours to carry.”

4. “I cannot ask for an abundant life in a world filled with so much suffering.”
This is very relevant in current times, and a lot in 2020 does objectively suck, let’s not sugarcoat it. I’m a bit hesitant about the “asking for an abundant life” part. I’d say do your best to build your life in a way that works for you, but don’t think that you’re owed that kind of life – else you’ll be disappointed

5. “Relationships are hard, and they are designed to be that way.” Yeah that’s a good point, especially related to romantic relationships. Why does marriage have to be “hard work”, as everybody says? I think it doesn’t – if you’re really lucky to find a kind and chill partner that “gets you”. But let’s be honest: most humans aren’t super kind and chill, and not everybody has the good fortune to find that ideal partner or friend group. Still a good idea to cut out the really toxic people, if you can

6. “I must be successful to be happy; I must be beautiful to be loved.” That’s great advice, but easier said that done (for me). It’s hard to unlearn this kind of thinking which we’ve all been indoctrinated with, to some extent (or do you know of a great secret technique to unlearn this? If so, let me know please:)

7. “I am the sum of other people’s opinions about me.” A good mantra, too. Again, a bit hard to really internalize it (and reading “the subtle art of not giving a F*ck” didn’t magically solve that problem, no)

😴 What might help you find calm


Intentional ASMR Picks:

  • Here’s Jojo doing his typical fast trigger / mouth sounds thing, and it works – so why change a winning team?
  • The same could be said for FredsVoice’s excellent raw BarberShop sounds, especially the foam and fast tapping sounds
  • Oh, and ASMR Glow made another great nail sound video which you can check out here
  • Lottie Love is a channel I forgot about, frankly, but her recent Beach Spa massage roleplay was superb (love the British accent)

💎 Hidden Gem: ASMR Izak! He uploads quite frequently, and here’s a recent haircut roleplay I loved with all the right foam, spraying and cutting sounds (and a lovely British accent).

Unintentional ASMR Picks:

  • Did you know the channel Helpful Vancouver Vet is great for Unintentional ASMR? (I had featured him once on my channel). He’s really gentle with his animals, I love that. How about you check out his videos on how to pick up a cat or carrying a cat like a baby?
  • Even though the story he tells is quite disheartening, British actor Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje has a great, deep voice (here’s his interview on Larry King)
  • You might know Shirley Curry (she’s probably the oldest Let’s Player). She has hundreds of hours of Skyrim gameplay on YouTube – it’s lovely and relaxing!
  • I’ve watched Dave from Melbourne building Miniature Models for a while, and he kindly gave me permission to feature his Miniature House exhibition!

💜 What I’ve enjoyed

Playing Trine 4 in co-op is fun so far, even though we agreed that Trine 1 and 2 were a bit better (and that Trine 3 was terrible, and we quit after around 1 hour).