Where is My Home?

I’ve arrived in Switzerland last week, and noticed the apartment I’m staying in doesn’t have wifi which made everything a bit difficult. But I have a beautiful view on the Zurich (see photo) lake and snowy mountains in the background, which somewhat makes up for it.   I’ve lived in many different places throughout my life, 7 years in France, 5 years in Switzerland, in several cities in Germany, from the west to Berlin to Munich. And I’ve always travelled a lot. At first glance, this looks like a great life. And don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for all of it… It’s nice to speak three languages fluently, to “broaden your horizon” and notice patterns of how people act and think differently in different places.
On the other hand, this way of living comes at a cost. If you asked me today: “what’s your home?”, I wouldn’t really know what to answer. Like I don’t belong anywhere. In a way, I feel ok everywhere, and I don’t get homesick. But I also understand that having a “home base” with friends and family nearby and your favorite places to go to can be beautiful. Can you even build long-lasting friendships or find love if you’re always on the road? That’s what Digital Nomads who are perpetually travelling around usually get depressed about, and most seem to end up moving somewhere permanently (especially if they want to start a family). And if you listen to musicians or comedians talk, they usually dislike touring around and never being home for long. I’ve even considered that my urge to move around is some form of self-sabotage and the manifestation of my avoidant attachment style – this way I won’t have anybody get too close to me.
I sometimes catch myself envying people who just stayed where they were born, with a normal job and a normal family, who seem to be perfectly happy without travelling or moving around, and never really thought about what’s “on the other side”. Maybe they don’t have that fear of missing out and grass is greener thing going on in the back of their minds.
I guess Barry Schwartz is right; Having too many choices really makes us unhappy (I wonder: does this also apply to relationships? If we date around too much, will we always see the comparative flaws with the partner we ended up choosing?)   In any case… I’d like to find a place I can call home. I’m not looking for perfect anymore, but for good enough.

💤 What helped me find calm this week:
As usual, I eagerly searched for relaxing Unintentional ASMR that you might enjoy:

  You can find all of these on my new Unintentional ASMR channel.

I’ve found nice Intentional ASMR as well, which I’ve added to my Favorite ASMR Playlist:

  • Made in France ASMR made another great Bob Ross themed video with nice brushing sounds. His original Bob Ross tribute video is still one of my favorites, I was surprised that he’s such a good painter!
  • Dr. T’s Anxiety Relief For Robots: This ticks all the boxes for me: A creative theme, great triggers plus a mesmerizing voice (what accent is this even, Spanish?)
  • Zeitgeist’s Cryo Spa is just too good to pass over: I don’t know where he gets all his props from (they even match visually), the triggers are great (dry ice, glass sounds and liquids). He also has a newer video up with very futuristic Eletric triggers, but these dystopian sounds honestly give me more anxiety than relaxation 😛
  • ASMR Bakery made a very good and long video with about 20 triggers – I especially like the tapping sounds

💜 What I’ve really enjoyed:
I’ve had a great time playing the Roguelike / Deck-building Indie game Slay the Spire again – the artstyle is mediocre, but the game is surprisingly complex, and to me, it’s the perfect game to play for half an hour while listening to podcasts in the background. I’ve previously made a ASMR let’s play with this game if you want to check it out.
Alright, that’s it for this week, thank you for your attention.
Have a great week! Alex
P.S. If you haven’t already, check out my own ASMR channel, my Instagram and my second Unintentional ASMR channel. Thanks:)